Super Dumbass Bros
by Ben Kitsune
Summary: Inspired by AJ Kitsune's story "Dumbass", follow Mario and the gang as they do even more wild, crazy, and stupid stunts! (Rated PG-13 for slight language)


Super Dumbass Brothers (aka Super Mario Jackass)  
  
Summary: Inspired by AJ Kitsune's Dumbass, I've decided to make my own as a homage!  
  
*Music suddenly is heard, and many flashes of scenes swap by quickly. MARIO bashes LUIGI upside the head with a hammer. PRINCESS DAISY carrys YOSHI on her back as he balances china plates on sticks as she unicycles them across a mine-laden field. TOAD pours gasoline on a entire bunch of Yoshi manure and lights it with a match. Other such horribly amusing, appalling, and otherwise disturbing scenes flash across the screen until the title centers upon "SUPER DUMBASS BROTHERS"*  
  
A/N: I do not the Super Mario Brothers, or the show Jackass which, by the way, I have never seen in my life so don't be offended if I go completely out of bounds here since I'm really only working off of my own imagination, and my friend AJ Kitsune's parody, called "Dumbass". You should read it! It's pretty funny! I also do not own the character Lupus, which is AJ Kitsune's and I'm using without permission. AJ, don't kill me, please!  
  
2nd A/N: You'd probably need to have read AJ's fic "Dumbass" first. It's not necessary, but it's recommended.  
  
*Fade into the screen. Enter BEN KITSUNE, a tall six foot antromorphic silver furred kitsune, having four tails, and wearing an azure sleeveless shirt, and some thick gray (or is it grey?) sweatpants. He turns to you, light glinting off his chocolate brown eyes.*  
  
B. Kitsune: Greeting, welcomes, and saluations, ladies, and gentlemen, to the pilot episode of the wildly not-so-popular-but-hopefully-quickly-getting-there Super Dumbass Brothers! Here we shall show you scenes of our favorite Mario heroes doing some of the most dumbest, smelliest, horrific, and just plain stupid scenes ever!.....However, our producers of this spin off didn't exactly confer with the producer of the show that inspired us, so hopefully we'll be avoiding some unnecessary confron--  
  
?????: HEY!!  
  
*LUPUS comes onstage, looking pretty pissed, carting a shotgun.*  
  
Lupus: Parody MY show without my consent, will you?! I'll give you what for!  
  
B. Kitsune: O_O Damn! Uhm....roll the first reels! I'll...uhm....see what I can negotiate here!....Now, uhm, please couldn't we talk this over!?  
  
*Fade Out. Rolling the first reel....*  
  
----  
  
*Fade In to see Mario and Luigi on screen. Luigi is sitting on a tricycle with a fish bowl over his head, Mario is standing on a skateboard with cardboard wings strapped to his arms, also wearing a fish bowl on his head*  
  
B.Kitsune: *O/S, holding the camera* All right, let's blast off!  
  
Luigi: Yeehaw! Mushroom Moon, here we come!  
  
*Luigi begins pedaling like mad. He pedals down the hill, going faster and faster, until he rolls right off a cliff overlooking a lake. Luigi launches right off a ramp and begins soaring through the air!*   
  
Luigi: Weeeeehaw! Look, Mario!  
  
Mario: Yeeeaaaaahhh! Look, guys! I'm flying! I'm flying!  
  
*Luigi, pedaling the trycicle, dramatically pedals his siloette across the sun....he hangs there for a second until Newton's Law of Gravitation kicks in and the Mario Brothers suddenly begin to lose altitude at an alarming rate.*  
  
Mario: Aaaaacccckkk! I'm falling! I'm falling!  
  
*Luigi and Mario drop an equivalent of about....three stories and smash into the ground.*  
  
B. Kitsune: Ooooh, they're gonna be feeling that one for a couple of weeks...  
  
----  
  
*Fade back in to see WARIO and WALUIGI on top of two very tall buildings. A tightrope is spread across the twin buildings, with Waluigi balancing on it. Wario stands off to the side wearing his Wario Ware outfit.*  
  
Wario: Don't worry, Waluigi! I'm sure this little game will make into the next Mario Party!....Or least the sequel to my Wario Ware game!  
  
Waluigi: Fo shizzo!! Let's go my bro! I can't wait to show off my l33t 455 |1(|1/\/g |-|40xr 5|1|_|_5! w00t! rotflmmfao!!11  
  
Wario: ......Riiiight. Let's do this!  
  
*Wario starts tossing stuff at Waluigi. Waluigi balances himself, catches the things and starts juggling them.....it's pretty easy at first, since Wario tosses Waluigi easy things such as apples, pears, oranges....but then Wario starts throwing baseballs, basketballs, soccerballs....Waluigi seems to have no trouble doing this, too. Wario grins and starts tossing other completely ludicrous objects, including but not limited to: Bob-ombs, fuzzy kittens, toasters, Nintendo GameCubes, shoes, bowling balls, wagons, bobsleds, inflatable innertubes, television sets, computers, refrigerators, SUVs, 737 Boeing jet airplanes. Waluigi of course, is completely overwhelemed and the sheer weight of all the objects causes the line to break and Waluigi to fall.*  
  
Wario: Heh....and to think, I forgot the net.  
  
----  
  
*Fade in to PRINCESS PEACH getting ready to unload a dump truck of rubber chew toys upon the hapless and completely unsuspecting special guest star, LINK.*  
  
Peach: Heh heh heh...  
  
*Suddenly, Princess Daisy runs up*  
  
Daisy: Wait, wait! Hold it! Hold the phone!!  
  
Peach: What, what's going on?  
  
Daisy: Link can't be here, this is the Mario universe! This is a breach of Nintendo regulations! *Screen pans over and has an inset window of a contract.*  
  
Peach: Say what?  
  
Daisy: It says here *inset window zooms in on contract and highlights a portion of text that despite being highlight is still too damn small to read* that "if any Nintendo character should happen to coexist with another in another world then this entire contract as well as the contract of the third party is null, void and otherwise negated and swift and and apropriate punishment shall be dealt immediately!"  
  
Peach: ....So you're saying we're pretty much screwed, aren't we?  
  
Daisy: YES!!  
  
Peach: ........*a pause*........*another pause*..........*a third pause*........What the hell, right? *dumps the rubber chew toys on Link*  
  
Link: ?!!? *buried*  
  
Daisy: NOOOOOOO!! You idiot! You've broken the contract and sealed our fates!! Now we must DeStRoY tHe WoRlD!!! *inset window shows planet Earth, the universal NO symbol over Earth, then a giant nuclear explosion blast*  
  
*The screen suddenly switches to the same nuclear explosion, only this time with a giant smiley face on it.*  
  
Smiley Face: And so, the world was destroyed by evil Nintendo executives. The End.  
  
----  
  
*Fade back in to a throughly exhausted and confused Ben Kitsune*  
  
B. Kitsune: Uhmmm.....how did THAT last clip get in there?? Anyhoo, uhm, that's all the time we got for you today! See us next time on SUPER DUMBASS BROTHERS!! Now, if I can just get out of here and save my hide--  
  
Lupus: *O/S* There you are!! *rushes up* You still haven't payed for your copyright infrigement!! *points at B. Kitsune* GET HIM!!  
  
*Suddenly, an entire battalion of lawyers march on screen.*  
  
Lawyers: Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!  
  
B. Kitsune: Of son of a--! Gotta run!! *he rushes off*  
  
Lupus: You're not getting away from me this time! *rushes off afterwards*  
  
*And, cue the credits!*  
  
SUPER DUMBASS BROTHERS  
  
Executive Producer: Benjamin T. Kitsune  
  
Producer: Benjamin T. Kitsune  
  
Makeup Artist: Birdo  
  
Stunt Coordinator: Yoshi  
  
Stunt Actors: Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, Wario Wario, Waluigi Wario  
  
Special Guest Star: Link  
  
Cameramen: Benjamin T. Kitsune, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Toad  
  
Translation: Benjamin T. Kitsune  
  
Writer: Benjamin T. Kitsune  
  
Costume Designer: Benjamin T. Kitsune  
  
Pissed Guy With A Shotgun: Lupus  
  
Stupid Flat Chested Broad: Princess Peach Toadstool  
  
Master of the Known Universe: Benjamin T. Kitsune  
  
Master of the Unknown Universe: Benjamin T. Kitsune  
  
Yo' Daddy: Benjamin T. Kitsune  
  
Too Egotistical For His Own Good: Benjamin T. Kitsune  
  
Special Thanks to: AJ Kitsune for inspiration, Me (Benjamin T. Kitsune) for writing this thing, Shigeru Miyamoto and Nintendo in general for the subject material, the show Jackass which was inspiration for AJ's fic, my other friends, my parents, the letter F, the number 3, and readers like you!  
  
Repeat Disclaimer: Mario, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Toad, Wario, Waluigi, Birdo, Yoshi, and Link are all copyright Nintendo. Lupus is copyright AJ Kitsune, AJ Kitsune is copyright himself, Benjamin T. Kitsune is copyright myself. All rights reserved.  
  
Started: Tuesday, January 27, 2003  
  
Finished: Tuesday, January 27, 2003  
  
Please Read and Review! Constructive Critism (I repeat, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISM, NOT FLAMES) are always welcome! 


End file.
